vincentclark dot com

I used to think I was lucky, I used to think I had two wonderful sisters, however, 2008 pointed out something to me that I should have seen a long time ago. As much as I would like to know these thoughts about them I honestly do not think it is worth my time to open up Gmail and send it to them. I know that I am supposed to stay away from negitive influences and have been trying to avoiding even thinking about the two of them, but there is something I want to get timestamp because, I know the two of them and I know how they are going to deal with what they have done.

I admit, I am no saint, I have writen and said nasty things to them. The last email which I mother likes to bring up was the one they keep mentioning so I would like to clear a few things up with that first. I wrote my little sister a very nasty email on my why home from the hospital after visiting my mother. Remember at the time I was in a great deal of pain, after traveling over an hour to visit my mother in the hospital only to have her do nothing but rag on me the entire time. I was letting a lot of it go, trying to keep calm, I was getting to that point where standing around was really not what I should be doing. Knowing what we know now we would understand why I felt that way.

After ragging on me again about my hair my little sister then joined my mother on ragging on me and then alternating on mocking me. When I was starting to get iritated at the two of them shouting over eachother instructions on how they wanted me to flip my hair my little sister then shoved her hand into my face to fix it. In pain and being aggitated because of being harrassed by my mother and sister my sister then thought it would be appropriate for her to jam her hand into my face. Without thinking I through the outer left handed Karate block and jumped back. Now remember, there are a few things that make me do something like that. 

I am going to also point out that I had a surgical clip pressing into my general femeral nerve, and had been for quite a long time, recently had caused me to go on medical leave . Now, I am still not sure on how much pain that clip was causing me, however, I am going on a limb and say that at the time of this incident I should have been in the hospital. 

I had a pleseant conversation wiht Emalyn and I want to ruin my mood by talking any more about these two. I will pick up another time. 

In parting, I want to exlain what happened at Christmas and what my sisters have done to me. I think when all is said and done I had every right to act and do the way I did, if not the right a damn good excuse. I won’t bring it up or play the card if they would be willing to fully understand what I had gone through and what they did when I was going through it. Until they really truley understand that then I will be accused of playing the pain card or cancer card or I am milking this for all it is worth. All I am doing really, is wanting it added to the equasion. I have to believe that if they knew what they were doing, if they knew what I was going through, what I have gone through for the past eleven years they would be calling me everyday crying and appologizing until I returned there call. Not saying I would make them beg and be a dick, what I am saying, if I were that kind of person that is what they should be doing. As much as I am not someone that would do his best to stick it to them, they are the kind of people that will and will always feel that they did nothing wrong, and that I deserved this. I think that is why I hate them so much, and really I have never really hated anyone. 

I know that is horrible, but before this mood is spoiled, I would like to say, you have no idea how horrible they have been to me. If I am wrong, if both sides were heard then people find that I am over reacting and what I did was wrong then I am man enough to accept that. I believe that I am not wrong, I believe that if someone where to know both sides they would clearly choose mine. 

Since my mother doesn’t want to get envolved, nobody wants to get in the middle of everything, we will all think we are right, all without discussing it. I don’t intend to change them, I just want to expose them for what they are and see if what I am doing is the right thing to do.